onefang - gustclan

[acez]

Name: stonekit stonepaw stonefang Onefang
Age: eighty-eight moons (seven years old)
Gender: tom
Rank: medicine cat
Clan: gustclan
Personality: Onefang is harsh, with a short temper. You would think he'd belong in the elder's den then in the medicine cat's den but don't say that to his face. His short temper practically explodes when someone tells him he should retire and let someone else take up his role as medicine cat. He rarely has any patience when it comes to those who have to heal, snapping at those who sob and whine at the pain, and rarely comforts kits who stray to close to his den. His respect for those around him are low, and expect anything from his mouth. His respect is earned, not given away. Yet when you have earned his respect, expect a loyal follower who is happy to defend your case.
Because of his legs, Onefang is slow but he would rather be eaten by a fox than have anyone help him, which causes him to snap at those who try to. He is a tough cookie, and has survived for many moons on his own, and hates to rely on anyone but his ownself. In fact, he has a tendency to spit at the warriors and deputy. But with age comes wisdom, and Onefang has plenty of that. To the lands outside the clan to the other leader's and the choices they made, Onefang would easily share his wisdom so long as it doesn't go to waste. The ability to use medicine and heal the sick is fantastic, and is known for being one of the best. Although he has lost some cats, they are the few of the hundreds he has healed.
Physical Description: x
Onefang has a rather shabby coat, thick yet short with a bristly feel to it. With a base like a tortoiseshell tom, his spine is dark grey. This color follows down his spine and stretches down his back legs in various dark spots yet his ribcage is stretched with stripes. Where his body isn't covered in these spots is light grey color, like ash from a fire. This tends to difference in shade especially around his stomach and muzzle, which has grown lighter in shade each year.
Although it doesn't stay that way. His stomach is a light brown that only appears once again on his front paw and tinges his muzzle and nose, giving it a darker, stained look. His eye is a piercing green look and with the thin dark grey streaks that surround his eyes and forehead give him an angry look, even when he's relaxed. These streaks lead all the way around his head, and coat his ears.
His build is muscular, and although some of that muscle is lost, his shoulders remain powerful and his legs are stiff and strong. He has grown leaner over the years, but he has managed to keep the bristled look of a warrior, and has yet to drop his warrior ways.

History:
I wasn't known as Onefang forever you know, ya whippersnapper. Back then, I was Stonekit with my brother, Rushingkit. I was rather cocky back then, strutting what I could with a flick of my tail, desperate to prove myself to the leader and warriors that I was an asset to the clan, despite I was blind in my right eye. Rushingkit, well, we were quite close, especially when both our parents were loners, adopted into the clan by a gentle tortoiseshell she-cat, Turtlerock.

We loved her dearly, and she was just a little past her prime, frail to sickness and disease but a skilled hunter. I am proud to call her my mother. She taught the two of us about StarClan and how when her kits and mate died, when her family died, they took them under their wings. Sometimes I see them Stonepaw. Sometimes I see them, and I know that they wait for me. She would whisper and we would believe her.

Once we were apprentices, we trampled over each other to prove ourselves, competing to find the biggest amounts of prey. When the medicine cat's apprentice died, Rushingpaw stepped forward, saying he had always hoped to be a medicine cat. I was jealous, bristling with fury when Turtlerock crowed and praised my brother whenever he collected herbs or healed a sick patient.

Yet we were still close. He was like a babbling brook, my brother, whispering under his breath herb names and what they did and often accompanied me while I hunted, where I often had to help him collect herbs. However, before we reached our naming ceremony, Turtlerock, as I mentioned before, was frail, died by sickness, a simple cold yet it attacked her, and she died. Rushingpaw broke down and sobbed while we had our grievance, and yet I was as still as stone. I could not fathom why StarClan would do that? She was old, that was true, but another elderly warrior was showing his love for her and she had us? Was she not happy with us? I could not move pass that, why? What was so important that they would rip our only family member from us? I became angry at the stars and refused to believe that they had our best interest in mind. They were cruel and unjust.

When we became warriors, I was Stonefang due to my habit of biting down on something and never letting it go and Rushingpaw became Rushingbrook, the reason was quite obvious. As I reached the age thirty-nine moons, I had knowledge in my herbs, due to Rushingbrook's many searches and accompaniments in hunting. It was during one of those searches that we were attacked. A fox, a youngn' but a fox nonetheless. Rushingbrook was killed at first, grabbed by the scruff of his neck as he screamed my name. I assisted any way I could, nipping the fox's ankles at first, but when my brother's voice started to gurgle, I bit and I bit hard on the fox's tail. It snarled, let go of my brother and turned on me. I faced it and scratched its face. It grabbed my paw and ripped it off its hinges so to speak. I fell to the floor, the right side of myself hitting the forest floor where I broke a tooth.

I was weak but it was because of my brother's knowledge of herbs and ability to share it, that I healed myself, now blind and crippled. I was the obvious choice for medicine cat and I took, changing my name to Onefang. And I've been like that for years.

Other notes:

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[Brackentail]

All right, it's good. There are only a few minor errors I want you to fix before I accept it, and I of course want to make sure you've read the Important Note for the high-rank applicants.

First minor error was this--
"muscule" in your phsyical description. That word does not have a second U in it; it's simply "muscle."

Second minor error--
"Sometimes I see them Stonepaw. Sometimes I see them, and I know that they wait for me.[/s]" Just a bit of a coding mistake in your history. Fix it to what it should be and it's good.

Third minor error--
"I faced and scratched it's face. It grabbed my paw and ripped it off it's hinges so to speak." Also from your history. Grammar lesson: "it's" means "it is." The apostrophe implies that the letter "i" has been taken out of the word "is" to shorten the phrase to one word. On the other hand, "its" is a single word which says that something belongs to the object being spoken about.

Just fix the minor errors, make sure you've read, understood, and asked any lingering questions on the Important Note, and you're good! The GustClan Medicine Cat rank will be reserved for you until you've fixed everything up. C:

[acez]

hooray for minor errors! =3

fixed up everything, so it should be looking good. can't stay on for too long,but i shall be back on later.

[Brackentail]

'Kay, you got all of it right except the last "it's" in that sentence I pointed out first. Just fix that last one and then I'll move it to be officially accepted. c:

[acez]

huzzah! fin!

[Brackentail]

Great! Added to accepted biographies and you've received your Member Rank. C: